Have you un-packed your manuscript?
by Nancy Sackheim
You've written thousands of words and dozens of chapters. Your characters likely have loved, hated, contemplated, realized, remembered, forgotten, imagined, desired....
Are there versions of the following in your manuscript?
John loved Mary.
Mary hated John.
Mary contemplated telling John she hated him.
John realized his love was unrequited.
John remembered Mary telling him to drop dead.
Mary had never forgotten telling John to drop dead.
John never imagined he could desire someone who hated him.
Every time you use a "thought" verb, you are taking a shortcut and missing an opportunity to describe actions and provide details that allow your readers to smell, taste, hear, and make their own judgments about characters and story points. Check out Chuck Palaniuk's essay "Nuts and Bolts: 'Thought' Verbs" on Lit Reactor, which provides multiple examples of how to un-pack thought words, then pull out your manuscript and try a little un-packing of your own.
