Bad Boyfriend

by Cindy Layton

Lately, I’ve been thinking that you, my book, are acting a lot like a bad boyfriend.

I know, I’m the cliché of a girlfriend (writer) – the one who expects that, after a few of my improvements take hold, you’ll make a really good boyfriend (book). Until then, you’ll need to be broken of some bad habits.

You never get to the point. Can’t you just say what you mean?

You’re always causing a scene when you should just be quiet or else you’re standing in the shadows when you should be taking the lead. 

You never want to go where I want.

You’re always withholding everything.

You’re too needy. Everything is always about you.

I’m getting a lot of feedback, too. Some people say you’re hard to understand. You could use some structure or you’re a bit aimless. What they really mean is, they don’t know what it is I see in you. To them, you’re kind of a lost cause, a reject, even. You’ll never live up to your potential. It’s occurred to me more than once that maybe I’d like you better if I stopped asking others for their opinion. Except it’s hard to ignore them when they say you don’t connect with people.

I’ve been on the verge of breaking up with you for so long, I’m ignoring you. Complaining about you. Treating you badly in the hope that, soon, you’ll do the impossible and break up with me.

But, in the end, I always come back because there’s something here worth saving. We go way back. You get me. You’re full of my dreams and all the people I’ve ever met and the places I’ve been, even if you are too short, demand too much attention and require so much explaining.

I’ll have to do a better job of putting words in your mouth. More words, better words. Words that get to the point. 

And when I’m done you’ll be in a place where you can stand on your own. You’ll be able to tell your own story.

After that, I’ll do what all great loves do – I’ll set you free in the world, knowing that you’ll always have a special place on my bookshelf. With luck, you won’t return, all needy and attention seeking, your pages lined in red ink, because book, as much as I think of you fondly - I do plan to move on.